


against the flow of reason

by SiderumInCaelo



Series: Elementary Season 6 Ficlets [2]
Category: Elementary (TV)
Genre: Angst, Ficlet, Gen, Introspection, POV Joan Watson (Elementary), Post-Episode: s06e02 Once You've Ruled Out God
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-05-04 01:30:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14581974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SiderumInCaelo/pseuds/SiderumInCaelo
Summary: She doesn’t ask Sherlock to attend her father's funeral with her.





	against the flow of reason

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from "Four Poems in Search of a Sober Reader" by Catherine Risingflame Moirai.

She doesn’t ask Sherlock to attend the funeral with her. 

The memory of the last time she asked Sherlock to accompany her to a funeral hangs too heavy.  She knows him forgetting wasn’t his fault, any more than the PCS is his fault, but –

She’s still angry with him. 

During those weeks between the destruction of the guest room and Sherlock’s admission of his diagnosis, anger had been easy.  It had driven out her grief for Shinwell, her hurt over Sherlock’s absence, her unwanted worry over Sherlock’s behavior, more erratic than ever.  It was satisfying and familiar and it became a habit.

She knows, now, that her anger was – is – unfair and pointless, but that doesn’t make it easy to stop.  She’s buried it under sympathy and guilt and designing treatment plans and work, but it’s still there, and even the thought of asking Sherlock to go with her threatens to exhume it.

And, even if she did ask, even if both her and Sherlock ignored the Shinwell-shaped elephant in the room, the cautious, pessimistic, _practical_ part of her mind keeps pointing out that there’s no guarantee Sherlock would remember this obligation either.  His PCS symptoms, as they are both acutely aware, are very much ongoing.  And Joan knows both that it still wouldn’t be his fault and that she cannot deal with that disappointment right now.

When she tells him about the funeral, he doesn’t ask if she wants him to come.


End file.
